Akatsuki days of Doom!
by WindWakers7274
Summary: Crack fic written while 'Sand shinobis of Doom' was made. Not involved with plot of SSOD but includes my OC, the author, the Akatsuki, and more! "How many times have I told you to stop playing with explosives in my member's faces?", Pain spoke menacingly. "I dunno, how many times has Naruto kicked your ass?", Aly replied smirking. T for what my mind produces when exhausted!


A/N This crack fic was while 'Sand Shinobis of Doom' was being written and was made to inspire me! This is in no way connected to the plot but will contain my OC from that story and will also include the Konoha rookies, sand ninjas, Akatsuki, and Hebi/Taka members. This will also include the author who basically has author powers which had been used to reanimate some Akatsuki members though made to promise not to continue attempts at world domination. Rated T for cursing and stuff... Includes slight spoiler from fourth great shinobi war and Pain Invasion Arc. My mind is such an odd place when I'm tired and gave birth to this for some reason. You have been warned!

Disclaimer: Author - Pain disclaimer now! Pain - Why should I? Author - I you do I'll make you a cookie and ice it so it looks like the world so you can have your domination and eat it too! Pain - ...Chocolate chip? Author - Yup! Pain - ...Fine, but don't tell Konan. This author does not own Naruto and/or Naruto Shippuden those rights belong to Misashi Kishimoto, Viz Media, TV Tokyo, and whoever else owns the copyright of Naruto but not her. She also does not own Nutella or Invader Zim anything else she mentions in this crack fic. Now where's my world cookie. (Konan comes in) Konan - For what? Pain - Ummm... celebrate Earth Day! Yay Earth and filthy- ahem kind earth scum! Author - Haha sounds like another Zim! Pain - You lie! You lie! Author - Hehe gotta love OOCness sometimes!

Meanwhile in the Akatsuki hideout...

"Hidan, I swear to Jashin if you took my Nutella again I'll hurt you!", the author shouted menacingly throughout the Akatsuki base hideout. The leader only sighed annoyed that the members of Akatsuki could not sit still for 5 minutes. "Just calm down Pain. Go to your happy place... yeah perfect. Scream louder my minions, scream! Hahah-", Pain was interrupted by Konan clearing her throat angrily. "No more world domination! You promised!", Konan shouted with a tick mark on her forehead. Pain sighed but nodded in defeat. On the other side of the base the Author whom we shall simply call Z was searching for the undead man. Soon however she tripped over none other than Tobi.

Tobi got up clumsily and forcefully pulled Z up by her arm. "Thanks Tobi, but have you seen Hidan? Or my Nutella?", Z asked hopefully but with malice in her voice. "Hahaha Hidan ran away scared when he heard you. Tobi also lost his sempai", Tobi muttered sadly. "But Tobi also saw Aly-chan and scary man coming over to see you!", Tobi continued completely changing his sad attitude. "Really? Aly and Gaara are coming to visit. Cool", Z said quietly with a light blush on her face. Tobi rocked on his heels childishly noticing the blush on Z's face at the mention of her friend/rival/enemy/... something? "Hahaha scary man is nice to Z?", Tobi asked innocently.

"Hahah yeah I guess you could say that...", Z admitted blushing a bit more. Z was known to be strong and vicious around the other Akatsuki members who had all (even Hidan and Sasori whom she gladly reanimated) learned to fear her and her author powers enabling her to rip them to shreds. However when it came to her redheaded sand ninja friend, he was the only one who got to see the real gentle side to her heart and made her shields (and knees) weaken.

When Hidan was seen whistling nearby however the blush disappeared as anger took over. "Hidan!", Z shouted in rage. The silver-haired man stopped his cheery tune to turn his head and pale at the sight of her fury. "I ain't scared of you bitch", he challenged though the shiver in his spine deceived him. "B-but why don't you just use author powers to get a new jar", Hidan suggested hoping her anger would fade. Z only smirked and stated, "How about I use author powers to chop your head off?" The man was about to back away but had accidentally bumped into the leader. Pain looked down at the situation and simply rolled his eyes. "Hidan stop causing trouble and Z please stop threatening to kill my members. You also have a visitor Z", Pain finished with a small smirk that quickly disappeared. Z stuck her tongue out at Hidan but moved to the front of the base.

Walking through a long empty hallway Z cursed whoever had thought it would be smart to make so many passageways just to get to the front entrance. Suddenly however arms wrapped around Z's waist making her alert instantly. Before she could attack the person a cold voice made her stop, "It's okay, it's just me. I came with Aly to visit you but she's with Deidara right now." Z instantly relaxed into the hold of the person feeling a small smile tug her lips. Turning to hug him back Z felt relieved to be able to hold him again after the stress of the Fourth Great Shinobi War. Knowing he needed support especially after hearing the truth of his own past Z held him tighter to her as he did the same.

Biting down her pride Z let herself whisper a small, "I missed you." At this he smiled gently and pulled away to cup her face in his hands. "Did the invulnerable Z just admit to missing me?", Gaara taunted lightly. "And is she blushing too?", he added with a smirk. "As if I would ever", Z scoffed turning away feeling angry at herself for blushing due to how close they were.

Gaara only chuckled quietly grabbing her chin between his fingers and turning her head gently to his. "I missed you too. It's at least comforting to know you still care for a monster" he added as if it were natural which bugged her. "You're not a monster. You shouldn't say that so easily.", Z stated with an angry huff. He only looked seriously at her and repeated, "I am a monster. Even if Yashamaru didn't completely think so I still killed his only sister by being born-", Gaara argued but was cut off by Z putting a finger to his lips. "You shouldn't say something like that", Z stated frustrated removing her hand. "And why not?", Gaara asked slightly angry. "Because!" "Because why!?"

"Because I love you okay! I love you and not once did I see you as a monster. And I hate that I do because every time someone calls you a monster or you believe it yourself it hurts me too! It hurts me because I know you're hurting too.", Z stated as she felt herself trembling but Gaara only stared shocked by her words. "I hate that you were forced to feel so alone, that they never gave you a chance, and I hate what they call you. But what I hate the most is when you actually believe them. And I know you hate it too", Z argued feeling tears spilling over but not bothering to get rid of them as she had already showed him how weak she was. The fact was though, he did hate it too. More than he would ever let anyone know, but Z was different to him. She saw so many times how he had let his anger at others control him yet she never turned away. She even knew about the demon he once had but she hadn't left then either. 'Great, now I'm probably just some weak crying girl. And I even said the L word like an idiot', Z thought as she looked down and turned away out of his grasp.

However she did not expect his hands to grab her shoulders and spin her around. Before she could question his actions his lips crashed onto hers. After sharing a passionate kiss he pulled away but leaned his forehead onto hers. With one head resting on her cheek he used his free hand to wipe away her tears. "No one has ever said anything even close to that to me. Z, I love you and whether you hate me for it or not I love that I'm one of the few people you'd show this side of you. This side of you only makes me realize how much more stronger you are and how much I love you as well", he whispered smiling at the small smile forming on her face. Holding each other close they proceeded to make out in the empty hallway.

On the other side of the base with Alyson...

"Aly stop messing with my clay, un!", Deidara huffed angrily. "Awww but I wanna make a pretty birdie thingy to explore the world and make everybody my bitches!", Aly shouted and laughing evilly while forming shapes with the explosive clay. Pain and Konan were standing nearby watching the situation. Konan giggled lightly at Aly's interesting 'wish'. "Oh, so when she wants to do it it's cute but when I want to its 'wrong'", Pain commented pouting at Konan who only patted his head. However when playing with the clay Aly noticed a ding come from the clay like an oven clock. Jumping she threw the clay behind her not looking to see what it hit. All that was heard was an 'ouch' and then a loud boom.

Turning around Aly saw Kisame on the ground knocked out twitching but his skin was now a light golden brown instead of blue. "Holy crap I made Kisame a fish stick!", Aly shouted panicked. Pain cleared his throat as Aly turned slowly for 'dramatic effect'. "How many times have I told you to stop playing with explosives in my member's faces?", Pain spoke menacingly. "I dunno, how many times has Naruto kicked your ass?", Aly replied smirking. Pein only glared and growled lowly. "At least I'm an interesting part of the plot series while you're just an OC!", Pein growled out hitting under the belt. Aly gasped, "At least I'm more useful than Sakura!" "Hey, I heard that!", a voice shouted from inside the duffel bag Aly had brought with her.

After Pain raised a brow Aly chuckled nervously and rubbed the back of her neck sheepishly. "Heheh I kinda also came for another reason than to visit. I kinda accidentally used Z's powers to change the other ninjas into chibis.", Aly said as she walked over to the duffel bag zipping it open. Out came chibi ninjas such as the members of Hebi/Taka, Temari, Kankuro, and the rookie nine. All were panting heavily and glaring at Aly. "You could have opened the zipper a little so we could be able to breathe!", chibi Sasuke shouted angrily. "And it was so dark", chibi Kankuro whined quietly.

"Heheh oops sorry, guess I forgot. You guys can walk on water so I thought you could at least be able to hold your breath.", Aly muttered the last part to herself after apologizing. Running out of the duffel bag the chibi characters ran in all different directions. Some were running off to Hidan and Kakuzu's room but quickly running back out as dark tentacles shot after them. Sasuke was looking for Itachi to challenge him to a fight.

Sakura, Karin, and Ino were chasing Sasuke. Temari was whacking Shikmaru with her now very small fan. Naruto went off to the kitchen in search of ramen to fill his never shrinking (even in chibi form) appetite as Hinata followed unnoticed. Kiba was running away from Akamaru who wanted to use him as a chew toy. Shino was riding on his bugs like a magic carpet when no one was looking. Sai was drawing on the walls. Neji was showing off to Tenten pretending to still be cool even as a chibi. Rock Lee was challenging himself to pick up weights with spoons.

A tiny Suigetsu was trying to drag Kisame's large sword out of his room as Jugo laughed at his struggling. Kankuro being ignored by Temari went off in search of his brother not knowing what he would soon see. What he saw shocked him and made him proud of his brother. 'Yup he gets it from me', Kankuro thought as he remained unseen while watching his brother's make out session with Z.

However that was soon ended as Naruto went running past as fast as lightening. Hinata was following panting as she did not want to lose sight of the energetic blonde. "What happened, Hinata?", Z asked not needing to ask how she was in chibi form knowing Aly had to be somehow involved. Gaara only groaned at the interruption just getting more annoyed as he spotted his brother try to tiptoe away.

"N-naruto was in the kitchen and opened one of the high c-cupboards. When he did he found something called N-nutella and ate all of it. I f-followed to m-make sure... he wouldn't get h-hurt", Hinata stuttered out ashamed of stalking him. Z however ignored that and only focused on her newfound rage at the blonde ninja. "NARUTO!", Z shouted angrily running after the flame marks the knucklehead ninja had made in the floor. "And that's why I love her", Gaara muttered with a sigh. Behind him Kankuro kept moving but froze when he heard a cold voice, "And don't think you won't be punished for spying Kankuro!" "Crappers and milk."


End file.
